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Thoughts and Tips on The Road to Improving Effectiveness by Overcoming Overload |
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Thoughts and Tips on:"Decluttering the Holidays ?”What is a holiday? Why have our holidays become a point of stress and overload? |
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Thoughts |
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Life is like a snowball. As it roles on its merry way it picks up more and more. What starts out as good and fun becomes painful and burdensome and stressful. Holiday traditions, gifts and privileges become duties, chores and liabilities. Why? Kim is a typical business executive. We sat down to talk about the pressures of year end closing and her need to make sure she makes all her numbers and achieves all key performance indicators. I tried to turn the conversation to something lighter so I said, “Well, at least you can look forward to the holidays.” “Oh, don’t’ remind me for that is another cause of stress,” she replied. “All the parties and events we have to attend. All the gifts I have to buy and things I have to do. This is a nightmare we go through every year. It is not a holiday any more. My husband often says that we need a holiday after the holiday.” So I asked, “Well, Kim, why don’t you forget the parties, save the gift money and take the family to a far away place and come back in January?” Kim looked at me and her eyes seem to light up at the thought. “Oh, that would be wonderful!” she said. Then in a second breath she added, “Wonderful, but impossible.” It may be impossible to totally stop the world and hide from all your obligations, but you can declutter and simplify the holidays and bring them back to their intended place of rest and joy and family love. *The names and titles are changed. The experience is based on participants in our Overcoming Overload Workshop |
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Tips |
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Here are some tips that you may find helpful: · Declutter you choices. Too many options and too many choices overtax the decision making ability and burdens the brain so, declutter and simplify whenever you can. · Reduce your gift giving budget. The less you spend, the less wasteful you are likely to be. · Limit your options to only one department store. · Give identical gifts to several people. The simpler the gift, the more likely it will apply to a broader group of people. · Donate to charities in honor of your important people. This can apply to the majority of adults on your gift list and bring greater value than most will ever receive from a store bought present. · Focus on core traditions. Not all traditions are equal. · Examine your values and align your traditions with your core values. Habits, left unchecked, grow to become traditions. Not all habits are wise. · Prioritize traditions on the basis of the impact they are likely to have on individual lives. Not everyone values the family or neighborhood gathering that you dream of every year. · Never start a tradition without giving up another. · Transform meaningful traditions into simple activities that replenish emotional and love banks rather than drain you leaving you and others tired and emotionally exhausted. · Give the gift of time. In a survey of Americans, 83% said they wished they had more time with family. Like most of us, young and old, fond holiday memories do not center on gifts or overeating. We cherish a good, relaxed time and simple communication with family, loved ones, and close friends. · Just like you, most of the people you feel obliged to invite to your parties would rather spend time with their families or rest from high paced lives. · Most of what you perceived as an obligation can be easily renegotiated and deferred to a more relaxed time of the year. · Invite small groups of friends to a SIMPLE, RELAXED cup of tea with store bought cookies around the fireplace. · Agree with friends to go to a concert or a group hike followed with a hot chocolate and store bought muffins around the fireplace. · Avoid stressful topics and problem solving family meetings. You have a whole year to do this. · Give yourself the most important gift you can give. Give yourself time: · Time to sleep and rest · Time to put your feet up, read a book, listen to your favorite music, ... · Time to count your blessings. Don’t just think of them; write them down so your eyes can see them. · Time to evaluate and prioritize your values · Time to dream and have hopes and visions of brighter days ahead · Time to consider what objectives can bring your dreams closer home · Time to set goals and targets that you can aim for and that can make life better for yourself, your loved ones, and the world in which we live.
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